Hiatus

With starting LTHF, working full time, planning a wedding, and renovating a house things are a bit busy at the moment...

If you want to know what I'm up to, please follow me on one of my other sites. A New Map of the World focuses on my life and hobbies, cooking, the wedding and our home renovation.

Let Them Have Faces (LTHF) is a nonprofit that partners with organizations working with victims of violence to help them acquire the resources (supplies & services) they need to better serve their clients. We use the collections to raise awareness in the community about violence and encourage individual advocacy to do something about it.

Take care dear friends...


Until things calm down,
A, 

2011 Highlights.... Part 2

Last week I started listing the highlights of last year. I got thru June, so now I pick through  the end of the year.
 
 

July: D & I went to Eleven Mile Canyon. I had never been before. It was an incredible day! We drove all the way upto the dam, stopping a couple times to take photos. We didn't get in the water, (though there were plenty of people doing that). On the way home we took some back roads.It was fun to explore, to get out and do something new.

 
August: One of the coolest things D and I did last year was to plant a massive garden at my parents' house. We got tons of veggies from it - tomatoes, squash, pumpkins and carrots. One afternoon I happened to be there and found someone else enjoying our hard work!

September: D and I took a long weekend and went to the Sand Dunes. 2011 feels like a year of things I have never done. It was time first time camping (we had a trailer), my first time to the Sand Dunes. I loved the Dunes, every time you looked at them they appeared different. I want to go back sometime when I can really appreciate the stars - I forgot what they look like without the city lights.

October:  We traveled to CA for a weekend. While we were there D showed me tide pooling. Growing up in the mountains I had no idea what it was. It was incredible to see the ecosystem change because of the tide coming in and going out. I got some amazing photos, but really love this one of the starfish.







November: We took a road trip to Reno to empty out a storage unit. I got to go to Salt Lake City - another first. The salt on the side of the road from the lake is everywhere - making it appear almost like an alien planet. I never realized how massive Salt Lake actually is. We had another adventure when our U-Haul broke on the way back - the wheel broke clear free of the axle while we were doing 60 on the interstate. Fortunately everyone was okay.

December: The end of the year came too fast and brought joys all its own. I got to cut down a Christmas tree with D, something I have not done since I was a little girl. We decorated it in my apartment and began a series of traditions together. Over the course of the month I came to see how I am attaching my life to D's - and that was both humbling and exciting.




Now, onto 2012 and all the adventures to come!

2011 Highlights... Part I

2011 was a big year for a lot of reasons. I changed jobs, found love, launched an NGO, moved. Through it all there were a lot of memories I wanted to hold onto. Below are just a few highlights

January: The Rose Parade with my love. I got to meet his family and see the parade. We sat close to the end, four rows from the street. Amazing!







 

February: for Valentines' Day D took me snowshoeing. I've never been. It was incredible. We were some of the only people out there and had a great time. After we ate a yummy lunch he had packed of grilled sausage, tomato, basic and mozzarella appetizers, and hot chocolate with Kahlua. 

March: My parents built an addition on their home for my grandfather. It was interesting to see the process from start to finish, from a hole in the ground to a home. I cannot imagine "finished products" very well. I do better with pictures and samples, so to watch it all - the floor, walls, support, paint, carpet, fixtures, etc. get added was fun.  

April: I traveled to Buena Vista for a long weekend. It was a pivotal time in the year and in my life. The time gave me the confidence to leave my job, to pursue what I wanted. It was a turning point in healing from Rwanda (and before) and coming to realize I cannot please other people all the time. Eventually I have to be true to myself and through that might find a way of connecting back with God. 






May: For mommy's day we took her mini golfing. She won by a decided margin. I stink at mini golf, but it was enjoyable to do something nice for my parents.

June: D and I traveled to Keystone for the weekend. While we were there, we happened upon a kayaking competition. Unsure what was to come we sat down and took it in. 

What we saw was nothing short of remarkable

(and this is by far not even close to the best run of the afternoon).

2011 in Review

via Google

 


enjoy.

Gratitude: Day Twelve

Today I am grateful for my car - the car I own. The car I was able to pay off in only 18 months. I got this car in May of last year and paid my final payment today. It's amazing.

I love this car. It is my dream car. VW stopped making this car in 2001 - so it's hard to find, and I was blessed to have a friend who wanted to sells their once I got back from DC.

I love being that during the summer I can drive home with the sun on my face. I love looking at the fall colors in panorama. This little car (my LC!) makes road trips better, especially those on rocky mountain roads.

When I took my niece in it for the first time, she told me we took "its top off." And that might be what I love most about this car - sitting under the stars with the top off and just being.

But today, I love that it is paid off and that is money I can put towards others things - like student loans.

I am grateful for reliable transportation, and the ability to pay off a car thanks to a steady job and the funds to pay my bills.

It has taken a lot of hard work, but I did it!

Gratitude: Day Eleven

Today I am thankful for Worship.

I got this email this morning and it just hit me. I tend to think of worship as David dancing for joy when the ark came into the city. The Bible says, "And David was dancing before the LORD with all his might" (2 Samuel 6:14).

It has been a while since I have been there. But like a dear friend told me recently, I can still put on the music and let it speak what I cannot. I've come to realize the Holy Spirit intercedes for us, bringing our petitions to God and so, even now, with a broken heart and a tired spirit, I hope it still is.

The word “sing” occurs over one hundred times in the Bible—more than sixty of them in the book of Psalms alone. Verses 4 and 12 in today’s passage (Ps 30) both tie singing and giving thanks together. There are a number of illustrations in Scripture of the powerful effect of praise through music.

When I talk with women who are struggling with chronic discouragement or depression, I often ask two questions: (1) Are you memorizing Scripture? and (2) Are you singing to the Lord? These aren’t magic “pills” that will make every emotional struggle go away, but I’ve found them to be extremely effective at recalibrating my heart and restoring inner peace. At times, when I am deeply distraught or discouraged, I’ll open my hymnal and just begin to sing. As I sing to the Lord, my heart and mind are re-tethered to His goodness and love, and invariably, the cloud begins to lift.

Whether it’s a cloudy or sunny day in your heart, sing! Right now, if possible. Put on a CD or your iPod and sing along with others, or just sing to Him on your own.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Right now JJ Heller's new CD is on repeat, it is amazing and fills me with joy and peace.

Some other songs I use frequently when I want to worship:

• Add to the Beauty - Sara Groves 
• At the Foot of the Cross - Kathryn Scott
• Desert Song - Hillsong United
• In Christ Alone - Adrienne Liesching
• The Stand - Hillsong
• When the Saints - Sara Groves
• When you Come Back - JJ Heller
• World's Apart- Jars of Clay
• Your Hands - JJ Heller

What artists do you turn to? What songs do you turn to when you want to sing out and praise?

Gratitude: Day Ten

Today I am thankful for people who know me, people who really know me - who haven't given up (or blamed me) due to my slightly reserved, guarded nature. Those who realize I am an open book, but you have to ask - and then ask again. Who realize I am passionate, strong-willed, determined and expect the best/most of people.

I am very grateful for people who have taken time to LISTEN over the last few years. Who don't just spew answers at me or give me a cheese, empty, flat Christian responses.

Perry Noble wrote this post and it really got me thinking. I think I can list on one hand the number of people who fit this list, and maybe that's okay. I don't need a lot of friends, but I need loyal ones. I am blessed to have some of those people around me. They can come from unexpected places - but they are there.

I've also come to realize that to find those people I have to let people know the real me, I have to let someone see the worse of me and not just assume that just because someone responded very poorly to something that everyone will. But that is hard for me, and so, like I said, my friends with patience and grace are the ones who I let my guard down around.

Judgment is one of the quickest things a person can do to turn me off. Especially ignorant judgment. Do not lecture me until you listen. I think if I have learned anything in the last three years it's compassion, empathy and the beauty of quiet when someone is hurting.

I don't tell people things to get them fixed, I tell people things to unload my burden. And the people I listen to are the people who get that.

Here is the list.

So…who do we listen to?  Who is it that should ALWAYS have access to us…and we should ALWAYS desire their thoughts and ideas…here are EIGHT things…I should always listen to…

#1 – Those who know me, who have spent time with me and understand that there is a person behind the personality.
#2 – Those who have seen me at my best and worst…and love me anyway.
#3 – Those who do not automatically assume the worse about me and always give me the benefit of the doubt.  (ALWAYS beware of the person who seeks to pounce on you as soon as they hear something bad!)
#4 – Those who are willing to stand with me in a tough time–THOSE WHO BLEED WITH ME CAN LEAD WITH ME!!!
#5 – Those who offer correction for the purpose of building up rather than tearing down (people who always seek to tear you down should be ignored!  If they do not correct/confront in love then they are nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal – see I Corinthians 13:1)
#6 – Those who are willing to take a confrontation straight to the person rather to an online audience.
#7 – Those who are not always looking for a reason to attack/hate you.
#8 – Those who have the goal of restoring you when you mess up and not wounding you!

Who does these things for you? 

Gratitude: Day Nine

Today I am grateful for the Sane Nurse Program at Memorial Hospital.  

I am grateful for the women at Memorial Hospital who are there to serve those in the midst of the worse day of their lives. They are there 24/7 to care for, treat and assist victims of violence.

They see the worse that man can do to each other, and yet, retain kindness, gentleness and a sense of goodness about the world.

These are some of the best people you will ever meet. I think seeing pain makes them more compassionate, facing the effects of evil makes them more giving. And, at its core, is the knowledge that without self-care there is burn out, fatigue and shutting down.

Only by taking care of themselves can they take care of others. 

I am glad we have this program so that regular 'ol male, ER doctors or ordinary nurses are not attempting to examine a victim and collect evidence with no real idea what they are doing. I am grateful for the nurses who help a victim of violence ensure they are okay, have the resources for care they need and that they have been checked out by someone who knows more about what attack can do to a body than anyone else. I am thankful for the nurses who are willing to see and hear what many of us cannot imagine to ensure their patient is okay.

Thank you ladies, I know our community would be at a loss without you. 

Gratitude - Day Eight

Today I am grateful that it is the weekend, that I get to sleep in tomorrow and stay in my PJs and drink coffee and write.

I am grateful that the week is over and that in an hour I get to go home.

I am thankful for the weekend - petty, maybe, but it's what I got today.

Gratitude - Day Seven

Today I am thankful for D.

It is hard to fully explain what he does in my life, what he does for me. He is my best friend, my confidant, my cheerleader, my soft shoulder, my reality check, my dreamer.

He is the best guy a girl could ask for. He can make me laugh like no one else. He is there when I need to laugh, to cry, to vent, to just be. With D I am who I am. There is no pretending, there is no trying to figure out who to be to keep him happy - he wants me to be who I am, and I want the same for him. There is encouragement between us, refinement, calling out each other's masks and the best things about the other.

I love that he is a photographer too, an adventurer, that he wants to get out and do new things, and craves a simple life.

I am thankful for him because he is there for me. I am thankful that my family likes him, that my friends adore him, that he treats me and my friends with the utmost respect. My identity is not dependent on what D thinks, but he does have a way of drawing out the best of who I am. The last year has not been easy, but he has been there every day.

I don't have to apologize for my passion with him, I don't have to try and mask how I feel, I can be affectionate, silly, goofy, and real. With D I have learned how to express disappointment and hurt, and to receive those emotions back. I have come to see that honesty in relationships is key, that I can love and be loved by someone and that does not mean we will never hurt each other - we will, but how do we react to that? D has taught me to be open, to risk love and letting someone love me.

It hasn't all been easy. We are moving from one challenge to another, from one mountain to the next, but I see a future with D that is good. If my best friend is there - bring on whatever else can come our way.

Gratitude - Day Five

Today I am thankful for rest.


Physical - mental - spiritual - emotional

rest

It can come about in different ways, a quiet cup of coffee, a note from a friend, a moment of silence, a comfy bed to sleep in. However it comes there is something about rejuvenation and stillness that is comfort and safety. 

Jesus said "Come to Me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Rest from the day, rest from what we cannot understand, rest from what drives us, from what won't let us sleep. Sometimes it is the closing of our eyes to sleep, other times it is a moment for ourselves, but whatever it looks like - I am thankful for it. 

Here are some other ideas for rest.

How do you rest? 

Gratitude - Day Four

Today I am grateful for my job. I am grateful to be doing something meaningful, to be helping people gain and maintain their independence, to be growing, and learning, discovering things about myself and others.

I have the most AMAZING co-workers. I have come to see them as deeply caring people who are here because they want to make a difference. You do not get paid well in the social services field, and the more I get to see their hearts and hear about their lives, the more impressed and humbled I am.

This job is amazing because there is independence in it for me. Independence to be who I am, not judged by some arbitrary standards, I feel valued and seen. I am appreciated for what I bring, carried where I am weak, seen for what I can become.

For the first time, I am in an office that does not segregate by position. Executive down to admin are treated the same, and we are ALL invited to the discussion and asked to contribute in the big and the small. It is refreshing and edifying.

Where I am is a breath of fresh air that I am exceedingly grateful for. 

Gratitude - Day Two

I am grateful for i encourage on Facebook. If you don't follow them - you should! They send out daily reminders of things to encourage their readers. Often times their posts are ways you can encourage others.

Over the past few weeks, here are some that have struck me:

• Think of three people you are grateful for today... Give them a text, email or phone call and tell them. 
• You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. ~ C.S. Lewis.
• Do something anonymously today to brighten someone's day - buy a coke for the person in the drive-thru line behind you or bring a neighbor's paper or trashcan up to their home... it will brighten their day, but will also brighten yours :-)
• Are you waiting... for something you thought you'd have by now? Be strong.. you can make it. And maybe in the end, you'll discover who you became during the wait is as precious as having the thing you waited for. 

I look for their update in my news feed in the morning. It is three sisters working together to encourage and challenge their readers to pass it on.


Thank you, i encourage

Gratitude - Day One

“Gratitude is learning to recognize and express appreciation for the benefits we have received from God and from others.” ~ Nancy Leigh DeMoss

For the next thirty days I am going to focus on gratitude. For the month of November (yes a day late, I realize) I am going to post what I am grateful for. 


Before I begin, Nancy posted these levels of gratitude. Where do you fall? Where do you want to be?

• I look at the world through grateful eyes and consistently express my gratitude to God and others.
• I know I’ve been greatly blessed, but I don’t often stop to actually express my gratitude to God and others.
• To be honest, I had not thought a lot about gratitude until starting this challenge. I’ve got a long way to go to develop a lifestyle of gratitude.
• I’m a whiner! I tend to focus on my problems and I frequently express them to others.

Today I am grateful for the snow. 

I am grateful for how it covers the landscape and makes things appear still and quiet. Looking out the window (it snowed here last night) I think of Narnia - how it is always Christmas. Somehow things seem frozen in time. It allows me to be still for a moment. There is hope in snow. New possibility. 


I am grateful for snow when I don't have to drive in it. I love snow when I get to stay in and read a book, drink coffee and leave the winter wonderland on the other side of my window. 




What are you grateful for today?

Finances

Being on starting the journey to work place freedom means money is tight. I did the opposite of what almost every blog I read said and did not plan too long-term before I left my full time job. In an ideal situation, the decision to go independent would come enough in advance to allow you to save for months (ideally up to 9 months from what I've read) of living expenses.

I didn't do that. I am a fairly frugal gal anyway, I don't really have a vice (except books ;-)). I sensed the time was coming to move into working for myself,. and so had created a base budget. Some people will tell you this is what you need to live on - period. But like a restricting diet that leaves you eating lettuce and radishes, you are bound to cheat, and eventually, blow your budget.

I started with the bare minimum I needed to make to cover my set bills: student loans, car and old credit card debt. Rent and utilities are negotiable, because it is possible to move somewhere cheaper, get a roommate, work to conserve energy, etc. I moved home, which might not be a possibility for everyone, but is for me because my parents are amazing.

Don't forget to add it things like groceries and gas. I collected these for a few months prior to see how much I needed to get by. I enjoy eating well -- no TV dinners and ramen for this girl -- and so kept those relatively the same as they had been, realizing I had the flexibility to cut back on food or ride my bike more if I needed to downsize the gas line.

Then I deviated greatly from the old wisdom - I added in fun money. I take out $60 a week and split that between being able to eat out and my other expenses envelope - that includes runs to Costco, or the movies, or birthday gifts, essentially any expense not covered above, meaning it is outside my set budget.

Now, I don't use my debit card except for gas. I don't use my credit card at all. But by building into my budget fun money I also don't have to worry about splurging and blowing my overly restrictive budget.

So I took all that - set bills, rent + utilities, the basics like food and gas, add in fun funds and then divided that total by four. That is how much I need to bring in a week to survive.

I also included health insurance and savings into my plan. I refuse to live on savings, and if the last year has taught me anything - the unexpected will always come when you don't have any savings (hello credit card debt!), so as much as you can, stop living from your savings account immediately and get on income again

To make it work, you need to cut down on your spending. You do not need Starbucks every day, you do not need new shoes (or books!), it is possible to shave off a lot of funds a month by cutting out additional spending. You will be amazed to discover how much you do not "need" and how much you can do without spending money.

Ultimately, as Jason points out, make a plan. You will never be able to save money or get out of debt if there is not a plan. I have a countdown in the back of my binder and cross off my car and credit card payments every month.  Keep it simple, don't have twenty categories when seven will do. Don't spend any money that has not been delegated to that expense. Old wisdom for getting out of debt and being able to save money - save more than you spend!

If you cannot control your spending, give your credit cards to a friend and go to the envelope system. When I was trying to get out of debt in DC and was on a (even more) bare bones budget I did this. It is a super easy way to control your funds and see where your money goes. When you only have $10 for the rest of the week, that daily latte looks a  lot less "necessary."

Any money tips you've found that works?

Warriors

A few weeks ago I helped out at the Warrior Games. It was an incredible experience. I was there for wheelchair basketball, a game between the Marines and the Air Force. To see what these men and women can accomplish is humbling and inspiring. I support and value our military, and feel enough is not being done to highlight what they do, what they defend, and what they sacrifice.

Beyond the competition is the camaraderie- yes, they played as Branches, but there was a level of respect between them I have rarely seen elsewhere. I would encourage all of you to come next year. I am already getting my nephews to volunteer with me and I hope to be able to be there for the swimming, track and biking events.

A shot from the closing ceremonies, over 200 athletes competed

If you go here there is a video on 31 May about the competition (sorry couldn't figure out how to embed it).

New Ventures

A new day is dawning, and I am so excited you are going to be here with me...

I am branching out and pursuing the freelancing/contractor world. Right now it all feels very unsure. I am narrowing down the list of what would be best for me to pursue.

I will document this on the blog, along with links to other blogs and resources that catch my eyes. I will continue to post photos, and let you know what is going on.


The question of purpose looms before me (as it does for many of us!). What we are good at might not be what is best for us to pursue. But one day at a time.

As I get to know myself better I hope to figure out more what I can do to truly have an impact and come alongside others.



How did you figure out what you were supposed to do?

Time Out

I will be gone until 13 April. At which time I will return with a new adventure and some new ponderings. 

Stay Tuned... 

What's in a Name?

Dillon Bailey.

Being that it is not my name I have gotten some questions as to where it comes from. 

It's my pen name, the name I've developed in case I ever get published - and it has a lot of meaning. 

Mrs. Dillon was my 8th grade English teacher. She was incredible. She constantly encouraged us to be more than we were, to dream, to reach. During my 8th grade year, a fellow student committed suicide. I remember, Mrs. Dillon was the only teacher that took time to talk to us. She told us that life won't always be like it was then, there were other options, and that we were not alone. 

She passed away when I was in high school of breast cancer. I will never forget the impact she left in my life, and how I still think of her often for all she taught me. 

Bailey was my grandmother's maiden name. She died when I was 12 of Alzheimer's disease. It was a long battle. She went from being a vibrant, alive, passionate, giving woman of God to a shell, with dead eyes, who did not recognize those closest to her.

So what's in a name? Everything! It is in remembrance of two women who changed my life - who taught me the intrinsic value of each person, to chase my dreams, to live a life of service and hospitality; it's for two women who still help define me today. 

Purpose

Dear friends... 

This is something I have talked about for YEARS and now am doing. It is my chance to show you my work - the people I've encountered, the beauty I've been privileged to document. I hope to have a store up in the days to come, and when I do I will put the link here. 

So until next time - go do something creative and enjoy all He has made. 

Blessings!