The ability to admit that some days are hard. Some days I want to stay in bed, with the sheets up to my nose and just let the day pass. Sometimes I just want to sit in the corner and weep for reasons I cannot fully identify.
Maybe, today, I am thankful for weakness. For crying out. For tears of pain that lead to release. I am thankful for imperfection - for the race not yet done - for the reminder that life is never supposed to be easy, but in the pain there is refinement and peace.
Who do I trust on days like today? Where do I turn?
- If I look to man - I am disappointed.
- If I look to my friends - I will conform and stop being real.
- If I look to my job - then it is all about works.
- If I look to my accomplishments - I feel even more like a failure.
- If I look to myself - then I have nowhere left to go.
But if I stop - let the pain come - face it with honesty - and then admit I am nothing and rest in the One who holds me together - I find peace.
That does not mean I do not hurt. That does not mean the pain goes away - it means I know there is more to come after it - and that I am not in it alone.
Today I am thankful for weakness, because out of that debt my hope is found.