Showing posts with label Photos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Photos. Show all posts

26 January, 2012

Nothing to Say

I heard this Andrew Peterson song this morning. It remains one of my favorite of all time.

In the quiet contemplation, a road trip with a loved one, stuck by the grandeur and humility of the Creator.

"And I don't believe that I believed in You as deeply as today. I reckon what I'm saying is there's nothing more, nothing more to say. 
 

"And the mountains sing Your
glory hallelujah. The canyons echo sweet amazing grace. My spirit sails, the mighty gales are bellowing Your name. And I've gotten nothing to say,  No, I've got nothing to say." 


When is the last time this humility struck?  The greatest testament to a Creator has to be in the awesome view from a mountain top, or a colorful flower field in the middle of nature, or the creation of the Grand Canyon. I look at the minute detail in a bird or a flower or a sunset and wonder how anyone can enjoy nature and yet deny the existence of the One who made it all. Too often I think that God created much of the beauty in this world for His benefit, we are just lucky enough to experience it too.

In that joy of a Creator is the realization that if he would spend so much time and energy on a magnificent flower in a jungle no human might ever see... How much care and planning did he take for me?


Enjoy friends. Stop what you are doing, listen, and be carried away in heartfelt worship...


- -

11 January, 2012

2011 Highlights.... Part 2



Last week I started listing the highlights of last year. I got thru June, so now I pick through  the end of the year.
 
 
July: D & I went to Eleven Mile Canyon. I had never been before. It was an incredible day! We drove all the way upto the dam, stopping a couple times to take photos. We didn't get in the water, (though there were plenty of people doing that). On the way home we took some back roads.It was fun to explore, to get out and do something new.



 
August: One of the coolest things D and I did last year was to plant a massive garden at my parents' house. We got tons of veggies from it - tomatoes, squash, pumpkins and carrots. One afternoon I happened to be there and found someone else enjoying our hard work!
September: D and I took a long weekend and went to the Sand Dunes. 2011 feels like a year of things I have never done. It was time first time camping (we had a trailer), my first time to the Sand Dunes. I loved the Dunes, every time you looked at them they appeared different. I want to go back sometime when I can really appreciate the stars - I forgot what they look like without the city lights.











October:  We traveled to CA for a weekend. While we were there D showed me tide pooling. Growing up in the mountains I had no idea what it was. It was incredible to see the ecosystem change because of the tide coming in and going out. I got some amazing photos, but really love this one of the starfish.







November: We took a road trip to Reno to empty out a storage unit. I got to go to Salt Lake City - another first. The salt on the side of the road from the lake is everywhere - making it appear almost like an alien planet. I never realized how massive Salt Lake actually is. We had another adventure when our U-Haul broke on the way back - the wheel broke clear free of the axle while we were doing 60 on the interstate. Fortunately everyone was okay.



December: The end of the year came too fast and brought joys all its own. I got to cut down a Christmas tree with D, something I have not done since I was a little girl. We decorated it in my apartment and began a series of traditions together. Over the course of the month I came to see how I am attaching my life to D's - and that was both humbling and exciting.




Now, onto 2012 and all the adventures to come!

04 January, 2012

2011 Highlights... Part I


2011 was a big year for a lot of reasons. I changed jobs, found love, launched an NGO, moved. Through it all there were a lot of memories I wanted to hold onto. Below are just a few highlights


January: The Rose Parade with my love. I got to meet his family and see the parade. We sat close to the end, four rows from the street. Amazing!







 
February: for Valentines' Day D took me snowshoeing. I've never been. It was incredible. We were some of the only people out there and had a great time. After we ate a yummy lunch he had packed of grilled sausage, tomato, basic and mozzarella appetizers, and hot chocolate with Kahlua. 



March: My parents built an addition on their home for my grandfather. It was interesting to see the process from start to finish, from a hole in the ground to a home. I cannot imagine "finished products" very well. I do better with pictures and samples, so to watch it all - the floor, walls, support, paint, carpet, fixtures, etc. get added was fun.  

April: I traveled to Buena Vista for a long weekend. It was a pivotal time in the year and in my life. The time gave me the confidence to leave my job, to pursue what I wanted. It was a turning point in healing from Rwanda (and before) and coming to realize I cannot please other people all the time. Eventually I have to be true to myself and through that might find a way of connecting back with God. 






May: For mommy's day we took her mini golfing. She won by a decided margin. I stink at mini golf, but it was enjoyable to do something nice for my parents.



June: D and I traveled to Keystone for the weekend. While we were there, we happened upon a kayaking competition. Unsure what was to come we sat down and took it in. 
What we saw was nothing short of remarkable
(and this is by far not even close to the best run of the afternoon).





28 December, 2011

Days like this...

Some days are hard. Some days it seems you struggle just to get through. Some days are one silent defeat after another.

Some days just suck.



Life seems to cycle. It goes from being dynamic highs to feeling like I am trudging through the mud. It's hard; I feel beat down. I want to stay inside, beneath the covers and cry.

There is nominal comfort in the knowledge that things cannot stay this way. In the moment, in the muck, when all I can feel is anger and my short tempered flaring and increasing isolation, that is of little comfort.

What is going on? I feel alone and scared and exhausted. There was no catalyst. Nothing "happened." I am just having a bad week and for now that needs to be enough.

So I am trying to stay small, to stay out of people's way, to be detached. It's not your fault things are this way and I won't take it out on you.

It's days like this I think of Rwanda, of being on that hillside and watching the sunset and wondering if life could not always be so simple. 

07 December, 2011

enjoy the view.

Day Five: Enjoy the View.


So I cheated, this is from a few years ago when my dear friend and I went tree cutting together. I love the image and use it to symbolize this time of year.

Day Six: Some small delight today.




 
Going through boxes of Christmas decorations I came across these figurines that belong to my boyfriend. In the joining of traditions, new ones develop, but there are stories and history in the ones brought into our relationship.

06 December, 2011

Reframing the Season

Day Two:  Reframing the Season


I wanted to get the Christmas tree up before taking this shot. This is my first year getting a real tree for myself. Before it's always been with my family or a fake one my parents gave me. This tree symbolizes reframing Christmas traditions and making traditions all my own

Day Four: The Key
(What helps you to slow down, take a deep breath and enjoy the moment? Capture it!)



The first thing I thought of was a Christmas light when I read this challenge. Even now, after a hectic day, I came home, plugged in the tree and took a moment. It reminds me to breathe, to release, to let go and just be. I can look at the beauty of the tree and just take a moment. Somehow in what happens around it - family, laughter, forgetting what happens outside this time - I find reality and for a moment, stability.  

05 December, 2011

Picture the Holidays

I am doing a project called Picture the Holidays this year with Paper Coterie. Each day a different image in the countdown to Christmas.

Day One was gratitude:



I am grateful for the gift of learning and how, even when we least suspect it, we can learn something new. I was in CA and learned about tide pools, something I never knew about being that I am live in the mountains!


Day Three was love - focus on love. Feel it. Be it. Capture it. Share it:





So I chose to be literal - it is all about love, taken on a shoot with the boy no less :-)

(Day two is coming!)

22 November, 2011

Gratitude - Day Thirteen

This was my view this morning. Thankful for today and blessings anew.

21 November, 2011

Gratitude: Day Twelve

Today I am grateful for my car - the car I own. The car I was able to pay off in only 18 months. I got this car in May of last year and paid my final payment today. It's amazing.

I love this car. It is my dream car. VW stopped making this car in 2001 - so it's hard to find, and I was blessed to have a friend who wanted to sells their once I got back from DC.

I love being that during the summer I can drive home with the sun on my face. I love looking at the fall colors in panorama. This little car (my LC!) makes road trips better, especially those on rocky mountain roads.

When I took my niece in it for the first time, she told me we took "its top off." And that might be what I love most about this car - sitting under the stars with the top off and just being.

But today, I love that it is paid off and that is money I can put towards others things - like student loans.

I am grateful for reliable transportation, and the ability to pay off a car thanks to a steady job and the funds to pay my bills.

It has taken a lot of hard work, but I did it!



09 November, 2011

Gratitude - Day Six

Today I am grateful for struggle.

The ability to admit that some days are hard. Some days I want to stay in bed, with the sheets up to my nose and just let the day pass. Sometimes I just want to sit in the corner and weep for reasons I cannot fully identify.

I am grateful that it is okay to admit I don't have it all together. 

Maybe, today, I am thankful for weakness. For crying out. For tears of pain that lead to release. I am thankful for imperfection - for the race not yet done - for the reminder that life is never supposed to be easy, but in the pain there is refinement and peace.

Who do I trust on days like today? Where do I turn?

  • If  I look to man - I am disappointed. 
  • If I look to my friends - I will conform and stop being real. 
  • If I look to my job - then it is all about works. 
  • If I look to my accomplishments - I feel even more like a failure. 
  • If I look to myself - then I have nowhere left to go. 

But if I stop - let the pain come - face it with honesty - and then admit I am nothing and rest in the One who holds me together - I find peace.


That does not mean I do not hurt. That does not mean the pain goes away - it means I know there is more to come after it - and that I am not in it alone.

Today I am thankful for weakness, because out of that debt my hope is found.




07 November, 2011

Gratitude - Day Four

Today I am grateful for my job. I am grateful to be doing something meaningful, to be helping people gain and maintain their independence, to be growing, and learning, discovering things about myself and others.

I have the most AMAZING co-workers. I have come to see them as deeply caring people who are here because they want to make a difference. You do not get paid well in the social services field, and the more I get to see their hearts and hear about their lives, the more impressed and humbled I am.

This job is amazing because there is independence in it for me. Independence to be who I am, not judged by some arbitrary standards, I feel valued and seen. I am appreciated for what I bring, carried where I am weak, seen for what I can become.

For the first time, I am in an office that does not segregate by position. Executive down to admin are treated the same, and we are ALL invited to the discussion and asked to contribute in the big and the small. It is refreshing and edifying.

Where I am is a breath of fresh air that I am exceedingly grateful for. 





02 November, 2011

Gratitude - Day One

“Gratitude is learning to recognize and express appreciation for the benefits we have received from God and from others.” ~ Nancy Leigh DeMoss

For the next thirty days I am going to focus on gratitude. For the month of November (yes a day late, I realize) I am going to post what I am grateful for. 


Before I begin, Nancy posted these levels of gratitude. Where do you fall? Where do you want to be?
  • I look at the world through grateful eyes and consistently express my gratitude to God and others.
  • I know I’ve been greatly blessed, but I don’t often stop to actually express my gratitude to God and others.
  • To be honest, I had not thought a lot about gratitude until starting this challenge. I’ve got a long way to go to develop a lifestyle of gratitude.
  • I’m a whiner! I tend to focus on my problems and I frequently express them to others.

Today I am grateful for the snow. 




I am grateful for how it covers the landscape and makes things appear still and quiet. Looking out the window (it snowed here last night) I think of Narnia - how it is always Christmas. Somehow things seem frozen in time. It allows me to be still for a moment. There is hope in snow. New possibility. 


I am grateful for snow when I don't have to drive in it. I love snow when I get to stay in and read a book, drink coffee and leave the winter wonderland on the other side of my window. 




What are you grateful for today?

12 October, 2011

Sand Dunes Adventure

I recently spent some time at the Sand Dunes. It was an incredible adventure. A friend and I went for a long weekend. We rented a trailer and got out of town.

I miss the quiet of morning. I remember it from the ranch - when I could walk down the road and only hear the ground crunch under my feet and, perhaps, the sound of the horses getting collected for the day.

At the dunes I laid in the camper and listened to morning come. There were creatures stirring, the wind soft and faint. It was bitter cold (our heating died) but it was magical. It carried me back to the uninterrupted morning of my childhood, when nothing seemed to exist but the sun on the horizon and the promise of a new day.

One morning we built a fire and ate breakfast, watching the sun hit the dunes and give the sand definition. We determined that every time we looked at the dunes they were different. You could probably take a photo every morning at the same time and end up with a different image. 

There is something magical about the Dunes. If you have never been, go. It's only $3 and so worth it. You can play on the dunes and fight to get to the top. We took a Frisbee and used it to determine our path. There is some childlike quality to the sand and the chance to just run and be free and silly. 


27 June, 2011

Warriors

A few weeks ago I helped out at the Warrior Games. It was an incredible experience. I was there for wheelchair basketball, a game between the Marines and the Air Force. To see what these men and women can accomplish is humbling and inspiring. I support and value our military, and feel enough is not being done to highlight what they do, what they defend, and what they sacrifice.

Beyond the competition is the camaraderie- yes, they played as Branches, but there was a level of respect between them I have rarely seen elsewhere. I would encourage all of you to come next year. I am already getting my nephews to volunteer with me and I hope to be able to be there for the swimming, track and biking events.


A shot from the closing ceremonies, over 200 athletes competed

If you go here there is a video on 31 May about the competition (sorry couldn't figure out how to embed it).

25 May, 2011

Photo Wednesday

First Image of Summer


(c) Dillon Bailey Photography

27 April, 2011

Reflection

I started this post a few days ago and let it slip, but I've decide to go ahead and post it.

What Easter Means to Me:

An empty cross, a barren tomb.
What once was no longer is.
Shattered dreams, relinquished promises
Things not yet understood remain.

Hope. New Hope. Better Hope. Complete Hope.
Resplendent dreams, Ultimate Promises.
Renewed Life. A New Creation.
Not just remade, but made new.

What once was sorrow is now joy.
No longer scared but empowered.
It was all true, and still carries on.

He defeated death to give me life.
I have nothing to offer but humility.
Careful obedience of a life in one direction.
I am alive because he first died to save me.


I sense Easter in a different way this year. I am coming off of three years of almost dead faith. Even before Rwanda I was hollow and sad. The walls keeping me from God too tall for me to even see. They blended into the landscape, they had become permanent to me.

But God does not leave us. It is the one constant I always have - I am never alone.

I am walking back, coming home. I will not bow like the prodigal son, though I do not deserve the fatten calf any more than he did. I am embraced and held by a Father who loves me, who whispered truth to me in my time away, who managed to beat down the wall that kept us apart, and give me instead a place of safety, intimacy and rest.

I am a new creation - new! Not just cleaned up, or rebuilt, or fixed-up, but new. It's an amazing gift, a life-sustaining promise, one I am just starting to understand.

So what does Easter mean to me? Everything.

19 April, 2011

Peace


DC - Cathedral TG, originally uploaded by mana1024.
This is one of my favorite pictures ever. It was Thanksgiving, and I took this picture from the roof of my apartment building. I love fall in DC. It's days like this I am nostalgic and ready to be back in the city I love.

It took a lot for me to move there. I went with an internship and a place to live. But God was with me. Within a week I had a paid job and fell in with a group of friends. It was incredible.

Each day to the day I got on the airplane was a challenge, full of preparation. I bought a one-way ticket, unsure when (if) I would return to CO. It was faith - and so is this transition.

It's a good thing to remember when all that I have to do overwhelms me. But it's coming... Slowly - it's coming.

22 March, 2011

The power of venting.

Pete Wilson wrote a blog this morning and it got me thinking. It was about a negative tweet he read. How many of us use our tweets or our facebook statues as platforms to say whatever we want about who/whatever we want? The problem is whether it's a company's reputation or a person's feelings, it will hurt someone. 

Pete summarizes his thoughts here:

There is an element of power in our words and it’s not accidental. Our Creator has shaped our hearts and souls to be impacted by the words of others.  It’s part of your design.
I’m not even going to pretend to understand this spiritual principle, but you certainly can’t ignore it. The words that come out of our mouth or through our typing fingers float through the air and land on souls impacting the course and direction of their life.
GOD HAS DESIGNED THE HUMAN SOUL WHERE YOUR WORDS WILL EITHER DESTROY OR BUILD UP ONE ANOTHER.
It’s a free country. I love that you can tweet whatever the heck you want to. Just don’t ever think that your words don’t have an impact.
They do.
And more than you could ever imagine. (site)

I know the sting of being a recipient of some fairly harsh tweets. Some people knew the person was talking about me, others did not - but I knew. I knew those hurtful words were directed at me. Words posted in anger, in needing to vent, in being mad at me... But the impact still lingers.

Tony Dungy (I wish I had the book with me) wrote about venting. It feels good for the moment, it gets the steam off, but then you are left with the wake.

The Bible talks about words said in anger, and the tongue being a mighty sword. Isn't that all tweets and status updates are? Instead of my venting or yelling about someone or something to ten of my friends, I can post it on my site and suddenly 1,000s of people can ready why I am mad at _______ or think the service at ____________ stinks.

It's not that you deny that your upset, you just don't say it! Dungy talks about keeping a cool head. Is yelling, screaming, venting, posting a spiteful tweet going to change anything? Probably not. It might just make everything a lot worse.

So take some time and let yourself cool down. If you still want to post about how mad you are then do it, but don't do anything in the moment you cannot honestly stand by the next day.

Trying to learn this lesson myself, I'll let you know how it goes.

15 March, 2011

Girls & Education

UNICEF estimates that 93 million children do not currently attend school.

Of that 93 million, 80% are girls.

The highest areas for this are sub-Sahara Africa and South Asia.

Overall, of children of the appropriate age, only 60% attend secondary school. In sub-Sahara Africa that number is 25% (link).

"(I)t is a fundamental human right enshrined in international commitments. From the Millennium Development Goals to the Dakar Declaration, countries have repeatedly committed themselves to achieving universal primary education and eliminating gender disparities at all levels of education by 2015 (link)."

The 26th Article of the UN Declaration of Human Rights reads (emphasis added):

(1) Everyone (including women and the poor) has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.
(2) Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace.
(3) Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children. (link


While having adequate supplies and teachers are vital, the first step is getting kids in school. It took years in this country for education to be free (and compulsory) for children. We had to shift our focus from being a human-propelled agriculture society to developing tools and systems that allowed families to be able to send their kids to school and still make a living.Nothing happens in isolation, microfinance, HIV/AIDS education/prevention/treatment. anti-trafficking measures, clean water, etc. all have to be at work also or, for too many children, education will continue to be a dream.

There are other challenges - cultural stigmas against girls (seeing them as less than boys, viewing/treating them as baby-makers and nothing more, etc), providing quality education (a challenge in the U.S. too!),  access to education for all. It is proven that once a girl is educated changes happen in a society.

"Better-educated girls make better decisions at home, at work, and are better prepared as mothers to protect their children’s health from chronic illnesses like HIV AIDS. Long-term, inequalities between girls and boys have significant negative impacts on societies and progress. Girls’ education is fundamental to economic and social development of individuals, families, and nations." ~The UN

It is an scary reality for some, but one that should be encouraging and exciting. Cultural shifts must be made, behavioral and mental changes too. Girls (and therefore women) must be seen as equals in society. They can contribute, grow, govern and impact their communities, countries and world the same as everyone else.


UNICEF outlines five elements for schools:


1. What students bring to learning. What experiences does the learner bring to school, and what particular challenges does she face? Has she been affected by emergencies, abuse, daily labour or AIDS? Has she had a positive, gender-sensitive early childhood experience within her family, her community and her preschool? How different is the language of her home from the language of her school? Has she been sufficiently oriented to the rhythm of schooling?

2. Environment. Is the learning environment healthy, safe, protective, stimulating and gender-sensitive?

3. Content of education. Are the curriculum and materials relevant? Do they impart basic skills, especially in literacy and numeracy? Do they promote life skills and knowledge areas such as gender, health, nutrition, AIDS prevention, peace, or other national and local priorities? How does the content of curriculum and learning materials include or exclude girls?

4. Processes. Are teachers using child-centred teaching approaches? Do their assessments facilitate learning and reduce disparities? Are classrooms and schools well-managed? Are the methods of teaching, learning and support – whether from supervisors, teachers, parents or communities – enhancing or undermining girls’ achievement?

5. Outcomes. What outcomes of basic education do we expect for girls? How can we document how well girls are learning and how well the curriculum furthers their future growth? Learning outcomes should be linked to national goals for education and should promote positive participation in society. (link)

09 March, 2011

A Lenten Prayer



A Lenten Prayer
By Henri Nouwen

The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.



I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.



I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life.  I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.



Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.



Amen.